15 Questions for More Powerful Relationships

With so many personalities in the workplace, have you ever found it difficult to work with everyone?  In every organization, regardless of where you work, you will naturally have some coworkers that are more challenging to work with.  Hopefully you are in a culture that has very few of these but learning how to boost your relationship is a skill worth perfecting. 

Think about 1 person in your company with whom you would like to improve your relationship. Read on to find some important questions to ponder to begin nurturing a more positive and effective relationship. 

1.     If you could change one thing about this relationship, what would you change?  What could you do right now to effect that change?

2.     What is working well about how you both work together?  What could be improved?

3.     What would need to happen for you to walk towards this relationship?  What would cause you to walk away?

4.     How might you be misunderstood by this person?  How might you be misunderstanding them?

5.     How have you contributed to the current health of this relationship?

6.     Do you value this person’s success as much as your own?  If not, why not?  What could you do to change that?

7.     What, if anything, would have to change for you to describe this relationship as collaborative?

8.     What do you expect and need of this person in this relationship?  What are their expectations and needs of you?  How could you confirm the expectations?

9.     What mistakes do you need to recover from?  What mistakes do you need to forgive this person for?

10.  How much time and energy are you willing to invest in developing this relationship?

11.  How do you talk about this person when they are not present?

12.  What can you learn from others who have a good relationship with this person?

13.  What baggage are you bringing that you need to let go of?  What baggage are they bringing that they need to let go of?

14.  How would you describe your decision-making style?  In what way is this similar to or different from this person’s preferred style?

15.  In what ways would this person describe you as challenging to work with?  What would make this person not want to be your supporter or advocate?

 Spend some time reflecting on each question.  Ponder it for a while.  Jot down some notes.  Notice if you are seeing any themes pop up.  Improving relationships requires you to see the other person differently.  Then act!  You can continue to think about it for weeks, but acting on -those thoughts is the only way it will improve. 

3 Steps Every Leader Needs to Follow

Leadership is complex. Ultimately our job as leaders is the process of accomplishing work through others. As an individual contributor, you are measured based on the work you accomplished. As a leader, you will be measured by what you accomplish as a team and through others. 3 steps in the fundamental work of leaders is creating a vision, building alignment around that vision, and championing execution of the vision.

1. CREATING A VISION
Many people know that a vision sets the stage for an organization’s growth. What might be new is that a vision doesn’t only exist at the lofty level of presidents and CEOs. Leaders at every level are responsible for crafting a vision. Your company likely has a vision statement, however Middle managers and frontline managers need to create a vision for their group that supports the organization’s vision. These visions will look different from top-level visions, but are equally important to the success of the organization. Vision statements for your group expands assumptions about what can be done. It provides purpose for organizations, teams, and individuals (including the leader). It drives the development of specific, vision-supporting goals and It unifies people.

Exploration Drives Vision
Although a great vision often sounds simple and elegant, a good deal of effort and insight has usually gone into developing it. There is a discipline to exploring new ideas that involves thinking at a big-picture level. It also involves resisting the temptation to choose the “right” idea too quickly. Leaders need to be intentional about exploring new directions and suspend judgment in order to consider a variety of ideas. Exploration involves giving oneself the time to weigh options.

Boldness Drives Vision Creating a bold vision doesn’t necessarily mean doing something on a big scale. But it does mean that the leader has a willingness to go out on a limb to champion bold new directions. Great leaders stretch the boundaries of what seems possible and challenge people to rise to the occasion. Leaders don’t make a big impact without being a little adventurous. People look to leaders for a compelling vision that excites them. Every great accomplishment begins with a bold idea. Being adventurous & speaking out will help when creating a bold vision.

Testing Assumptions Drives Vision Creating a vision requires exploring ideas and being bold, but it’s also crucial that the vision be grounded. Leaders can test their assumptions through several means, including seeking others’ advice and doing more formal research. This is not about looking for support, but instead is about soliciting objective input and surfacing potential problems. Leaders need to look beyond their own thinking to test assumptions. It's important to recognize obstacles when developing a vision. Consider a variety of methods in checking your hypotheses.

2. ALIGNMENT is gaining buy-in from the organization and your team. This is getting buy-in for the vision from everyone who will have a role in making it a reality. It ensures that everyone is on the same page, both from a task and an emotional perspective. Alignment requires ongoing one-way and two-way communication. In fact, the failure of a vision, no matter when it happens, can often have more to do with a lack of alignment than with the strength of the vision or the efficiency of execution. Too often, leaders treat alignment as something to check off a to-do list. In reality, alignment is a dynamic, ongoing process that requires the leader to continually monitor and realign as conditions and needs change.

Clarity Drives Alignment Some leaders have trouble translating their great ideas into words. Others struggle to stay on topic or fail to relay the most important points. When people don’t understand your vision, how can you expect them to get on board? When people understand a message, they can more easily buy in.

Dialogue Drives Alignment One of the simplest ways to get others aligned around the vision is to engage them in a rich dialogue about the “who,” “what,” “why,” “where,” “when,” and “how” questions. Involve others in two-way communications to increase by-in and also gain invaluable information. True alignment requires openness to others' ideas and concerns.

Inspiration Drives Alignment How do leaders get people truly excited to start a new project or initiative? They inspire others by painting an exciting picture of the future, sharing their own passion, and showing confidence in the team’s ability to succeed. Leaders who are able to inspire others in this way are much more successful in gaining and maintaining buy-in. Real buy-in isn't just getting people to go through the motions. When you express your passion, others become more committed. People need to see how their efforts will contribute to success.

3. EXECUTION At the most basic level, execution is making the vision a reality. The leader must make sure that all conditions are in place so that everyone can do the work necessary to fulfill the vision. Often people think of execution as something that happens in the trenches, while the leader sits in an office thinking up the big ideas. But the truth is that successful execution of a vision can’t happen without the deep commitment and support of the leader. Execution propels the development of concrete strategies and makes the vision actionable. It gives people a sense of achievement wile fulfilling the promise of the vision.

Momentum Drives Execution Leaders often set the pace for the group, so when they tend to be too low key, people may not feel the sense of momentum that’s needed to realize the vision. By being driven and proactive—and also by acknowledging others who take initiative—leaders send the message that getting things done at a brisk pace is important. Leaders often set an example when it comes to momentum. People tend to perform to the level of momentum that’s expected. Without a sense of momentum, projects can stall out and fail.

Structure Drives Execution To execute on a vision effectively, leaders need to ensure that people have enough structure to follow. Without appropriate processes, policies, and expectations in place, teams operate inefficiently and are less likely to create high-quality outcomes. To create structure, leaders need to make well thought-out plans and analyze complex problems. To work productively, people need to know what is expected. Effective leaders respond to the structure needs of their teams. Structure helps to produce predictable, reliable outcomes.

Feedback Drives Execution In order to ensure that the vision is executed, leaders must provide both critical and positive feedback. When inefficiencies and complications are evident, leaders need to be willing to speak up. And, when people are performing well, it’s equally important to provide the appropriate praise and recognition to keep everyone engaged. Feedback from leaders helps people know how they're performing. Leaders need to be willing to address problems head-on. Recognizing contributions encourages ownership and engagement.

Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team

The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team™  is an assessment-based learning experience that helps individuals and organizations reveal what it takes to build a truly cohesive and effective team in the most approachable, competent and effective way possible.  Powered by Everything DiSC®, the profiles help participants understand their own DiSC® styles. Bringing together everyone’s personalities and preferences to form a cohesive, productive team takes work, but the payoff can be huge — for individuals, the team, and the organization. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team program helps teams understand how, as a team, they score on the key components of The Five Behaviors model:

• Trust
• Conflict
• Commitment
• Accountability
• Results Each individual on the team will also understand their own personality style and their team members’ styles, based on the DiSC® model: D: Dominance, i: Influence, S: Steadiness, and C: Conscientiousness, and how their style contributes to the team’s overall success. The program is designed exclusively for intact teams and work groups. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team harnesses the power of Everything DiSC® and the clarity and simplicity of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team™ model.

The Five Behaviors Model is used to help team members learn to work together more efficiently and effectively and become a more cohesive team. A productive, high-functioning team:

• Makes better, faster decisions
• Taps into the skills and opinions of all members
• Avoids wasting time and energy on politics, confusion, and destructive conflict
• Avoids wasting time talking about the wrong issues and revisiting the same topics over and over again because of a lack of buy-in
• Creates a competitive advantage
• Is more fun to be on!

Variety is the Spice of Life

April Spice of Life

There are 4 Types.  Which are you?

When I’m asked to do a client intervention to help increase communication or diffuse conflict, often the first thing I do is have the participants complete a personality or behavioral inventory.  I have found that the vast majority of the time, conflicts are due to the way we are hard wired.  We speak differently, we work differently, and we hear things differently.  Each personality type has its distinct strengths and blind spots.  There are 4 major types and we are all made up of a combination of these but usually have 1 type from which we lead.

Dominance Type

Natural Strengths:  The Dominance Type has a strong need to get results.  They embrace challenges, value fast decisions and focus on the bottom line.  They take charge, communicate with urgency and always follow through to get the job done.  They have a competitive nature which translates into a high need for achievement and a propensity to win.  Blind spots:  They are not sensitive to the needs of others and often value the job over people.  They are seen as lacking patience, being controlling and making decisions too quickly.  They can come across as critical and not supportive of other people’s ideas.  You’ll find the Dominance Type having a difficult time listening, being blunt and confrontational, frequently clashing and stepping on toes.

Influence Type

Natural Strengths:  Influence Types love to connect.  They are warm, outgoing, convincing and enjoy creative outlets often in service to others.  They are seen as trusting and optimistic. They are highly social and often highly charismatic, and they love working on teams and being around people. They love jobs that involve a high degree of social interaction and don’t like being in jobs where they are alone.  Blind spots: They are seen as unfocused and overly talkative.  They can come across as being impulsive, disorganized and having lack of follow-through.  They are not good with details and are more concerned with people and popularity than with tangible results and organization.  They can over promise and be slow to action.

Steadiness Type

Natural Strengths: The Steadiness Type is very team-oriented, helpful, and cooperative.  They follow the rules and value harmony.  They are known for being steady, stable, and predictable. They are even-tempered, friendly, and sympathetic with others.  They are good listeners.  They strive for consensus and will try hard to reconcile conflicts as they arise. They are good at multi-tasking and seeing tasks through until completion.  They enjoy routine.  Blind Spots: They are often unhurried and reluctant to make decisions, which can irritate the more fast-paced Dominance and Influence types.  They are not inclined to change.  They can be especially sensitive when it comes to criticism.  They may have a difficult time saying no or establishing priorities.

Conscientiousness Type

Natural Strengths: The Conscientiousness Type are analytical, logical, and highly structured. They value accuracy and spend time being the quality control person.  When something new is proposed, they will think through every detail of how it works and the process.  They are even tempered and very thorough. They make decisions carefully with plenty of research and information to back it up.  They have very high standards for both themselves and others. Because they focus on the details and see what many other styles do not, they tend to be good problem solvers or very creative people. Blind spots:  They can easily suffer "analysis paralysis," and struggle to make fast decisions.  They are bound by procedure and find it difficult to stray from order.  They are seen as getting too bogged down in the small details, making it difficult to see the next steps or big picture.  They need clear cut boundaries in order to feel comfortable at work, in relationships, or to take action.

In order to build more effective teams, increase alignment to goals and help propel your company to achieve its business goals more rapidly, developing an awareness of various work styles is critical.  This means understanding your own style, the style of others and how you both must adapt your styles to work better together.  In doing so you can leverage the strengths of each member of the team, increase productivity, decrease conflict and boost morale.